Sorry I forgot about you, blog!

I haven't posted anything here for almost a year. I won't bore anyone reading with personal updates, because that's what I use my livejournal for. I just feel terribly guilty about not using this, because I DO need an outlet, I DO need a place to write coherent thoughts. I guess I underestimated this whole thing in general though, considering I came back to over fifteen comments on one of my posts, and I expected barely anyone to read it besides myself. So I suppose I'll embark on a journey - one that includes me writing things that other people might-gasp- yes, read! Maybe someone will read something I have to say!

It did feel great when I was published in Newsday. I'm conflicted about my future in journalism because of the lack of opportunities and everything going viral. It's a bit discouraging to me. But one of the only things that I'm decently okay at is writing- (and playing ddr, but where will that get me?) so someone suggested that I start a serious blog. I probably should write more, because the people I come in contact with on a daily basis generally have no idea what I'm talking about when I bring up directors, actors, or anything film related. They all want to see 'Notorious' while I need to see 'The Wrestler' 'Frost/ Nixon' and 'Revolutionary Road' before Oscar season, because, well, I need to see every movie in the best picture category before making a real prediction, duh! It's hard to express how isolated I feel on this subject. I want to break into film, I want to eventually include it in my career somehow, but I'm terrified it's too late for me. I'm studying Political Science instead, which I am passionate about, don't get me wrong, but I'm increasingly becoming aware of myself, and of how I might not be cut out for law school or anything of the sort. I'm just terrified, and I want someone to talk to about this...so I've become something of a night owl, prowling the web, reading scraps of information about Hunter S. Thompsons' novel, The Rum Diary's, film adaptation (which may include Keira Knightley or Scarlett Johansen..and will certainly be including Johnny Depp) instead of reading about Condelezza Rice's latest trip to a foreign country. I'm captivated by films. By book and play adaptations, by actors performances, by set designs and budgets and appealing to certain demographics and this and that and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I FEEL LIKE none of this can get me anywhere, is it just going to have to be a hobby for me, for the rest of my life? Am I destined to sit back and let other people do all this work? This work that I want to do? When I say 'this work', I don't even know what I'm referring to! Directing, editing, acting, no no..I don't think that..I'm just so confused. Eighteen and terrified, that's what I am.




So when I mentioned something about being a film critic in casual conversation, this is what I was reminded of, this is where I was referred. And then I remembered that I already had one. I don't really know. It's not too late for me to post all my Oscar predictions or anything. But I need to see all those damn movies first. I will say that I've been to the movies more these past two months than any other person my age that I know. It's kind of fun, but kind of...not. It really does isolate me, though, when I try to start a conversation about how Kate Winslet really deserved that Golden Globe for the Reader..and the response I get would be along the lines of, 'Oh, she was in Titanic, right?'
Sigh. That's why I need the internet, so I know I'm not alone here. Good thing I'm reminded I'm not the only movie junkie out there. So...three cheers for the internet.