Grilled cheese, mise-en-scene, & c-span..

I really get quite angry with myself for not writing in here...

I have so much on my mind that I think my brain sort of shuts down in response. And as a result, very little of my creative juices flow freely.

A week before I returned to school for my sophomore year, I met my biological father. His absence in my life growing up served as fruit for thought, angst, and lot of my writing.

Well...he's 65, lives in a shack as a semi-retired plumber, and doesn't have a penny to his name. Now that I'm in the picture, he's been working more, and he told me he hasn't bet on a horse since last Thursday. Oh, how special. But the simple fact that I'm in his life makes him so happy. He's got this stupid grin on his face when I'm with him, and I kind of love it. It's really overwhelming for me, to hear about these brothers and sisters , aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces I've got. So much catching up to do.

...Anyway. I'm a very confused little girl. For the most part, well, I mean, for every part of me concerned, I love college living, I appreciate beyond belief not just living with these girls but also the fact that they are my best friends doesn't hurt. I love having this kitchen, and cooking up crazy things I never dreamed of at home. I love the classes I'm taking this semester, but I am positively terrified about my future. I suppose most college kids are, but I look around and even if it's not TRUE, I still feel like everyone else has more going for them than I do.

My emotions, ambitions, talents(or, whatever..) are so hopelessly jumbled and only half alive. I don't know how to handle it. I'm desperately hoping that this season, with it's dying leaves and chilly weather can inspire me somehow. Or just fucking knock some sense into me.

Alright, I love watching films. I love reading about them, writing about them, and talking about them. One of my classes is a film class, and, well, I'm glad I'm finally taking one. It's enchanting. My school has this particular major, right, and it's called Cinema Studies, except it's total crap. I mean I'm sure there's some very intelligent people involved. But where will I go with a degree in Cinema Studies? Who am I kidding, where the fuck am I going to go with a degree in Political Science from SUNY Purchase? Uh, I'm just kind of down on myself. I'm so scared. I'm scared that at nineteen, that it's too late for me. Too late to get into the real good stuff- the technicalities of filmmaking, to get behind a camera, to learn how to edit film, and so on..So I'm not sure where that leaves me. I'm not really sure of anything. I love politics, it doesn't bore me at all, but the prospect of that scares me as well. I don't believe I'm cut out for it. But then again, I don't know what I might be cut out for. I graduated high school firmly believing I was going to be a White House Correspondent for CNN. I mean, yeah, okay.

I just don't have anyone to really turn to with these questions about my future. No one has the answers, though. One of the only things I do know is that I'm halfway decent at writing. I want to do so many things, but I'm terribly lazy, and I really don't THINK I can do anything. I just need someone to talk to. So thanks for listening, lil' blog.

gona finish this blurb with a picture of my favorite lady, looking cute and flawless in The Duchess- by the way, the biography of the actual woman who Keira played in the film, Georgianna Cavendish, is spectacular, one of my favorite reads to date. She was really one of the most influential women in politics& fashion in all of Europe in the 1700's.

Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland'

Once again, I come to you, blog, with a heavy heart and some regret because I do my mind's incoherent yet vibrant ramblings no justice here, while I really should more often.

But I came to write about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. You can watch the trailer here.

Michael Kutsche is an artist and designer who had designed some characters for the beloved children's tale. His creations , though, have gone a bit farther than his Deviant Art page...



His concepts are being used to develop the characters in Burton's film, and Kutsche has been working directly with the director and on the set.




I'm so damn excited for this, and I'm not exactly a huge fan of Tim Burton, whose movies I find somewhat bleak. Sometimes I would like to pretend his Batman movies don't exist, but, whatever. Personally I love that he works with Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp all the time , even if I don't always love watching the movies ( Sweeny Todd, Corpse Bride) and I'm hoping that this movie will do really well financially and recieve some critical acclaim. Not trying to get my hopes up too high, but the promotional pictures and teaser trailer are getting me all excited!

Keira for Coco Mademoiselle

Dominique Issermann is a great photographer. It seems as if every ad she does for Chanel is able to tell some kind of story about the woman on the other side of then lens. Beautifully lit and executed. Of course, it doesn't hurt that Keira Knightley has killer bone structure and is classically beautiful. She seems to embody Chanel to me. The ad is for the CoCo Mademoiselle fragrance, which is going for about $125 in the states. If only I had a job.

Why do bad movies succeed, i.e, TRANSFORMERS?

I have not seen the second Transformers film, REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. But I've read a ton of reviews, and spoken with people who have seen it-most of them love it to bits, hail it as epic, awesome, the works. But what I don't get is how a movie (much like the first one) with awful acting, sloppy directing, embarrassing dialouge , no character development and a convoluted plot can be so wildly popular. It puzzles me to no end, it frustrates me even though I should just accept that people will like what they like. But is it that awful of me to think a little less of someone when they tell me they thought this was the best movie ever?? I mean, come on. Bay seems to be critic-proof in the sense that , well, no amount of horrendous reviews will stop people from seeing it. But at least many recognize it only as a popcorn film with no substance, Megan Fox's glistening slowmo body, and explosions. But why are we entertained by this? Last summer's Dark Knight managed to give us a good story, great action scenes while managing to tug at our heart strings...these kind of movies are just explosions and robots, really there is not much more to them. Which is fun, once and a while, don't get me wrong..but is it that awful to ask for a little bit more? Just a little?

Here's one review I liked, among many, written by Robert Dougherty on the Associated Content site.


Transformers 2 reviews are useless because no Transformers 2 review will stop people from seeing Revenge of the Fallen. A Transformers 2 review truly means nothing, for if Transformers 2 reviews could stop big

box office, Michael Bay would be out of work. Michael Bay lives on his movies being critic-proof, and Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen reviews are no exception. But that hasn't stopped critics from decrying in their Transformers 2 review that Bay may have gone to the bottom of the barrel again.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is pretty much a remake of the first movie, for all intents. Shia LaBeouf's Sam and Megan Fox's Mikaela are on the run from evil Transformers for two and a half hours. The good Transformers, led by Optimus Prime, are again out to defend them and all humans from Megatron, and his new master, The Fallen.

The Transformers reviews for the first movie weren't that great, but they were about down the middle. That is extremely rare for a Michael Bay film, as he hadn't come close to getting half-positive reviews for his movies since The Rock in 1996. Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys II and The Island had helped make Bay the anti-Christ for critics.

The first Transformers let Bay off the hook a bit - especially since he introduced Megan Fox to the world. But Transformers 2 reviews are back to slamming Bay as the devil.

The expected complaints in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen reviews are that it is empty, hollow, an assault on the senseless, and brainless. That's no surprise - but many a review also calls Transformers 2 even more brainless than usual, and even downright racism with a couple of ethic stereotype robots.

Pretty much no review has anything to praise Transformers 2 for except the technology and robot battles. Since they are even bigger than ever, and will be viewed on IMAX, that's more than enough for Revenge of the Fallen.

The hope in Hollywood is that Transformers will be the biggest opening of the summer, with an opening of over $100 million expected. Previous big summer hits like Star Trek, Up, and The Hangover also had very good reviews, but Transformers 2 will outdo them all without them.

Whereas reviews were at a fair 57% for the original on Rotten Tomatoes, the Transformers 2 reviews are at a piddling 21% on Rotten Tomatoes so far, with a rating of 4 out of 10. The Rotten Tomatoes consensus reads that "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a noisy, underplotted, and overlong special-effects extravaganza that lacks a human touch."

But if Michael Bay really needed to provide that to survive, he would have been out of the business a decade ago. So a Transformers 2 review gets doomed to relative obscurity while the millions get made this weekend.





Additionally, every review I've read also mentions how god awful Megan Fox's acting was...and I'm glad. I wanted to give the girl a chance, but it was too hard. She's just a vapid headed girl who is getting by on nothing but her looks and sex appeal (although she claimed in interviews that she doesn't like being called sexy, and resents it. okay, world's sexiest woman 2 years in a row! don't promote yourself as a sex symbol then! don't go to maxim when you've got nothing else to prove except how mind blowingly hot and perfect you are!) and who has virtually no talent.But, she's hot in Transformers, so America loves her. I just am so confused and frustrated with the state of cinema sometimes.

Anton Yelchin, my new favorite human..

Allow me to draw you in with a beautiful face plagued with the fate of humanity. Simply put, Christian Bale's epic level of hotness. I just can't. I can't take it anymore.

Since I have this awful inability to actually sit down and articulate what I think in a coherent way, I always am angry with myself. But this subject is one I really would like to blog about. I mean there's tons of things I'd love to blog about, actually. How coca cola slurpees make me feel, my mouse that is currently actually a zombie, the sun and it's majestic god like powers, Jane Austen's motifs, but let me get on topic here.

Star Trek and Terminator 4, two of the season's biggest movies, will be brought up in this post because of a charming little man named Anton Yelchin.

The Czech actor is only one year older than myself, which would make him twenty. That's another thing I could blog about, math! And in one month and in two films the young actor has played a significant part (well, not just him of course!)in revitalizing two separate franchises. We all know how well J.J Abram's Star Trek did, a washed up space ship exploit turned stand-alone action flick. I knew Abrams wouldn't let me down, not with my fervent love of Lost and time travel, which also plays a part in the film. I don't think the reviews on Terminator are so consolidated yet, it's opening this weekend wasn't mind-blowing, but personally I thought it was a great film. Some critics are saying the film lacks character development, which may have some truth in it. The action scenes really did have me on the edge of my seat, covering my mouth and gasping when a ridiculously gigantic robot would appear, etc etc. Interesting that Star Trek's cast did not suffer from any lack of character development, both Chis Pine and Zachary Quinto (by the way, their bromance is adorable) were able to establish their characters in distinct ways and introduce them to a fresh, younger audience. I mean, if it weren't for this reboot, I doubt Spock would be receiving the same level of girlish attention and battered eyelashes. He looks fierce, and attractive in some freakish way I will admit. But how anyone can pull off that haircut and have girls drooling over you is over my head.
Anyway, Sam Worthington was compelling as a half man half machine, confused, yet indestructible. I thought Bale gave a solid performance as Connor, minus the Bruce Wayne voice in some parts. I don't think Bale has actually ever been in a bad film, or has ever done a less than awesome job at what he does. The whole time I was watching, I was really trying to figure out in which scene the infamous freak-out occured. And watching the film, in some really emotional scenes in which this guy is supposed to find his then-teenage father (played by Anton) and send him back in time to secure the fate of humans while trying to fight off some pretty scary machine cyborgs (another thing was the rating, I'm pretty sure WB is getting slammed for slapping this with a PG13 when it totally deserved an R) I can imagine how vunerable an actor is at times like that, and I can sort of understand why he went so insane.


Back to Anton! I loved the screen time with him and Bale, although there wasn't much. His scenes with Worthington were great as well. I just find him to be so charming, I can't really get over it! In T4, he played Kyle Reese. He had some huge shoes to fill, I think, but he nailed it. Reese is a beloved character to those who grew up with the Terminator movies and he nailed some of his mannerisms and just did a good job in general.

I could type for hours on the topic of Star Trek, never a fan of the series, but I would love to call myself a Trekkie because of this newfound love of it due to the movie. Anton's role as Chekov was absolutely spot on, (minus the physical appearance) his Russian accent was superb, he is , generally, just an actor who really really makes me happy. One of the best in his age group, for sure.
He's young and really, his career is taking off.

And I would love to sit down and have sushi with him. Please.
I'll settle for Senor Bale if it doesn't work out, he can verbally abuse me any day of the year.

Oh and for the record, I like McG's style of directing a lot more than Michael Bay's. Although he's got nothing but some Sugar Ray videos and Charlie's Angels under his belt, I think he did considerably well. Both of these men had movies which featured action, explosions, and beautiful women, but Transformers is just an awful potluck smashup of those things in the worst way possible. I just Hate, with a capital h, Michael Bay and how everyone is drooling over Transformers 2 for the summer. It makes me a sad lady.

I really should get some sleep.



Bale & Yelchin in T4! Son and...father..how..cute?

My mice are under my bed.

I am not motivated or collected enough to sit down and actually post a real entry, and it KILLS ME. I sit in class or I'm out somewhere and all I'm thinking about is coherently shaping my thoughts into a decent blog post but I just never get around to it. Instead, this time, I'm going to post some poems I wrote..a villanelle, a sonnet, and a sestina. The sestina was absolutely the most challenging, it took days to write. The structure is peculiar because the same six words have to repeat in a different yet specific order each time. My words were Rome, Watch, Red, One, Life,  Death. It was a challenge. I don't normally post poetry or prose on the internet but I figured I might. Enjoy, leave feedback? Maybe?

Shakespearean Sonnet
Old Milk

Prematurely, crass calls takes me from bed
Resigned, sleepy, I curse white morning birds
Now more. Multiplying shrill cries bring dread
Pouring cold milk ,much too early for words.

Predictable gulls bear no surprises
Dawn carries them in, while noon sees them quit
Opaque flux rivals overgrown white flies
A sniff, the truth; I move from where I sit

Faded numbers on the carton reads "bad".
Dumping old liquid, a seabreeze comes in
I look listlessly; spot last night's salad
While aves through the window chase fish and fin

The sun gleams and glares, bellies of birds full
Tulip adorned sheets call; I am not far.



VILLANELLE
Comedian

A candle goes out, life is taken, somebody knows.
Out of jaws of death, queries spring
Yet demise for us breathing creatures; natural as having ten toes.

Throat tightened, blood flowed, eyes closed, breathing slowed
Old scars collected blood like craters in rain
A candle goes out, a life is taken, somebody knows.

His enemies left roses. No wife, kids at his funeral, only friends turned foes
Cigar burning, menacing grin, "It's all a joke," he knew best
that demise for us breathing creatures; natural as having ten toes.

Each hit well calculated, each bloody, crushing, blow,
Cigar smoke smouldered, heavy bones snapped, twisted
A candle goes out, a life is taken, somebody knows.

Glass breaking, people screaming, buzzers dinging, t.v game shows
Screen flickering ,body thrown, twenty stories falling. Greeting wet pavement.
Yet demise for us breathing creatures; natural as having ten toes.

Reporters ask questions, one old wax candle still glows
Entertainer terminated amongst smoke and game shows,
A candle goes out, a life is taken, somebody knows
Yet demise for us breathing creatures; as natural as having ten toes.

(this one is vaguely based on a character from the graphic novel Watchmen..)






Sestina

Founded in brick, left in marble, if only I were there to watch!
One time capital of the world. Birthing greatness, life, war, death
Art, wine, food, chariots and love, love, love
Golden helmets adorned with feathers colored red
No doubt in any man's mind that only one
Empire, towering over all in mankind's narration- it can only be Rome.

Once golden and marble; industry, ruins, graffiti now inhabit streets of Rome
Hawaiian shirt wearing tourist halts at McDonalds. Flavian Amphitheatre can wait; checks his watch
He doesn't know the Great Fire,the Senate, nor Nero's hysterics. Simply wondering: if he were a gladiator, would he have won?
No heed paid to the Punic Wars, or Carthage, yet remembers reading in high school Ceasar's death.
Big Macs, to him romantic as the small italian eateries around the city; ketchup dribbled onto his belly leaving a stain that's red
Waddling down the Roman forum, no notice to aged, chipped Venus, goddess of love

Some creatures must value this place; history begs to be idolized, loved
Blood thirsty, never ending conquests for land; none could match the civilized brutality of Rome
Men at war, leaders power hungry, uncompromising, land stained crimson red
Blood tinged winter and summer grounds, snow and sweat, only charcoaled ravens stay to watch
Metal on metal. Breathing, clashing, burning, yelling, laughing, drinking, sleeping, choking, death.
Ink stained feathered creatures pick up the battered bloody pieces at their pleasure, one by one


Farms, cities once littered with corpses rose up when a call trimphant and shrill came at once;
Fathers, sons, men to arms. Defend the ever growing empire, sacrifice freedom,old age , love
Years pass, we all live the same lives, each and every single path ending in death.
Yet try and show me another city whose beauty no living imagination can picture, there is only Rome.
A refined she-wolf, under the burden of expectation, keeps on. Smirking, stalking, watching
Laughing at the prospect of anything but greatness, bearing white fangs and a muzzle coated red.

Love of God, not of Zeus took root ; blood dripped from a crown of thorns, thick and red
New Emperor; first of many, Constantine worshipped not many but one
Every sacrifice of blood, sheep, virgins, cattle, sodden eyes watched
as daughters, companions, gold earning posessions which garnered love
were taken for Jupiter, Juno, Apollo, Diana, once guardians of Rome
now discarded for a carpenter, how bitter we now rejoice in his birth and death!

Paved streets, haunted with Roman ghosts and stories of their deaths
skin tingling, mind wandering, remembering what's been read
of gladiators, fine architecture...unhinged satisfaction in Rome.
Laughing, praising a city which raises her head under neighboring stars, anyone
can see constellations today; sky lit up, glowing in idoltry and love
My tired eyes look past conspicuous McDonalds, I take off my watch

An old ivory fountain draws me near, I like this one
with age, she remained smooth and sleek, fast food, tourists slowly fade into Roman
obscruity along with every girl who ever sat upon this same seat; Into the water, I toss my watch.

(I also had a hard time making this flow more poetically and read less like prose...but it's my fault for picking a loaded topic for a poem which structure demands simplicity. whatever.)


And just for fun:

Keira Knightley still looks better than I ever will, even with no make-up...

Keira was recently spotted at Heathrow Airport, on her way to Canada. Personally, I think she looks great with little makeup and tousled hair. I wish I could go out looking like that and not feel super gross.

It's amazing what a ton of makeup, excessive styling and photoshop can do, huh?

Regardless, I'm still madly in love with her. She's got some pretty exciting projects coming up. My Fair Lady, the remake of the classic with Audrey Hepburn brings no new real news.

The Beautiful and the Damned, in which she's set to play Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of the famous author, is set for a 2010 release. I'm interested in how she'd tackle an American southern accent...Never Let Me Go, based on a novel about young people in London at a boarding school who ultimately discover they are being used for their organs(rough outline, forgive me I've had some wine this evening.) is also set for a 2010 release. It'll be nice to see her out of a period piece to silence her critics for a short while. London Boulevard, starring alongside Colin Farrel (This duo intrigues me). This role is promising for her, or at least I think so. I read a description:

"In the script the character is called Charlotte. A beautiful woman that looks thirty-five(as a result of a drug addiction) yet is only in her mid twenties suffers from addiction, exhaustion, nervous breakdowns, and is on the brink of having a fizzling career."

It'll be interesting to see her portray a character that is typical of our own time! To get into the mindset of characters so like her peers, especially some well-known ones in Hollywood.

Her last upcoming project, Last Night, has wrapped up filing. Some kind of romantic drama, the plot revolves around a married couple separated for one night while the husband takes a business trip with a colleague who he has feelings for, while the wife encounters her past love. It sounds sort of boring to me, but with any luck it can shape up to be the same kind of screwed up love freakshow that was Closer. Of course since my girls in it, I'll give it a chance. Obviously.